Nine full days in beautiful South Lake Tahoe in mid July. What else could anyone ask for? For most, Tahoe is a vacation destination: offering the ski slopes in the winter, the lake and mountains for countless summer activities, and not to mention the casinos and night life for 24 hours of entertainment! And this places, where Mark Twain says “... must surely be the fairest picture the whole world affords ¨ is the place I get to call home.
Now, unlike my surprise visit home in November when my uncle passed away, this time, I knew for a little over a month that I was coming back. So this gave me plenty of time to mentally prepare myself for all the cultural difference that where sure to shock me. So, weeks before my departure I started preparing by basically picturing the complete opposite of life here in Buena Esperanza. I reminded myself that when I go home I would encounter an abundance of fresh clean mountain water, cool and crisp for drinking and hot for bathing. I expected to find toilets that flush, Trader Joes, moving sidewalks in the airports, new technology, new songs, new buildings, refrigeration, electricity 24/7, English speakers, internet at my fingertips, Wal-marts and much more. I knew that roosters would most likely not be waking me up in the morning, people would not be wandering the street yeilding a machete and I was not going to have to burn my own trash.
This was great… I was ready. Nothing was going to shock me!!! And I was right, what I found was it wasn’t so much my initial reaction to the amenities I encountered that shocked me, but more so how I personally reacted to having these amenities at my fingertips. Does that make since? Here is an example: I knew that I was going to encounter a refrigerator full of all my favorite foods, with endless combination possibilities sure to keep anyone satisfied. However, I found some sort of paradox in all this food choice; each morning, I would open the refrigerator, become extremely overwhelmed by the possibilities that presented themselves to me and shut the door real quick. I would then make a pot of tea to try to give myself more time to think about what I REALLY wanted for breakfast. By the time the tea kettle whistled ‘times up, make up your mind Michelle’ I still had no idea. So I would inevitably settle for a bowl of cereal and thank goodness my mom had already made the cereal decision from the grocery store… that would have been a nightmare. So I only had 2 boxes to choose from… and I usually mixed the two =) Have I always been this indecisive?
OK… back up, let’s start from the beginning… I leave Buena Esperanza on a Wednesday. Travel for two days to get to Panama City. Somewhere along the way I drink some water (remember this). My 4th of July was celebrated at the American Embassy in Panama City. In true American fashion there was an abundance of processed meat, cotton candy, American Beer and things that blow up, in this case fireworks. It was a good time… but I never did get my turn in the bounce house, hmm.
Anyways, fast-forward a half a day. Now, with 24 hours of travel ahead of me, my body has decided that after I have been in Panama almost a year, without any stomach issues, today would be a great day to break that streak. With every symptom of the eminent Giardia presenting itself, I cursed the sensation of thirst and my inability to ignore it when I knew, I KNEW, that I shouldn’t have drank that water while traveling. Luckily, Peace Corps prepared us for situations such as this, giving us bountiful supplies of western medication. So, as uncomfortable (to say the least) as those next 24 hours of travel were, it was with the combination of this modern medication and the knowledge that I would soon be in the comfort of my own home that got me through it…. Ok enough about my stomach issues, I am blushing!
I would like to thank Delta Airlines for providing in-flight entertainment including Access Hollywood and E! for helping me catch up on my pop culture. It was very educational. I learned about the craze that is Biber fever, and Katy Perry educated me via her new song ”California girls.” To which I thought…. Duh, anyone who has been to California knows that, haha. So thank you Delta for the educational opportunity and also for the endless cups of 7-up to help settle my stomach...On the other hand, I would NOT like to thank Delta for losing my suitcase for 4 days. It wasn’t the fact that I didn’t have my stuff, after all, I am use to wearing the same thing every day any ways. But when my suitcase was finally returned the handle had been broken off, the sides ripped apart and the inside lining tethered. But the worst part was that the 8 bottles of special Jalapeño hot sauce I brought home for my Grandpa had been unwrapped, causing them to clank against one another; and if you have ever clanked two glass bottles together (I don’t know why you would) but I think you know what happens. So upon opening my decrepit suitcase I was unpleasantly greeted by Green gunk and fractions of glass ALL OVER EVERYTHING!
Wow, so far my trip sounds like a big bummer. But honestly, regardless of my new refrigerator fear, hot sauce covered belongings and my first stool sampling experience, I did actually enjoy my time home. The only Tahoe summer activity I didn’t want to do was go camping, I think for obvious reasons… But everything else I was able to squeeze in:
• I proved to myself that I can still ride a bicycle. But I definitely cannot get up the hills I use to be able to!
• My early morning lake swims where everything I remember them to be… just a bit colder then I remember =)
• I had a wonderful father daughter date to see Toy Story 3… I just love those little guys!
• The few hikes I had with my mom, made me wish I could bottle up the mountain air.
• I was chofered all around town. Really, I think because no one trusted me behind the wheel… I guess after an 11 months dry spell, that is a lot of power to give someone. Understandable.
• The fact that my mom’s TV didn’t work the whole time I was home didn’t faze me a bit. (Apparently, that is something I haven’t been missing) I was still able to catch the final World Cup game at my Pops, alongside a great BBQ with the best combination of friends and family.
• I got to stroll through TAPs annual Fine Art Festival with my incredible grandparents and see another year of my moms hard work in action. It’s still a struggle trying to make ends meet to bring cultural and educational performing arts into the schools… but their doing it!
• I went on a hike in search for wildflowers but instead encountered large amount of snow, which I was equally delighted about… but a bit disappointed I didn’t bring a sled
•I made it a point to see the already infamous Avatar. And even though my Ngobes are neither big nor blue and they don’t live inside a big tree… at least not trees that look like trees… This films plot hit pretty close to home with some shocking similarities of real life issues that that facing some indigenous communities here in Panama, and I am sure all around the world.
• I pulled on my cowboy boots for the Sugarland concert. And danced the night away with the most amazing yetrandom group of people ever! I am just glad that no one asked us how we all knew each other because I am notsure I could have explained it.
• I got lots of hugs and encouraging words from familiar faces at the Rasmussen´s famous lamb BBQ (no lamb for me).
• I was primped and pampered at the Session Solon. Where unfortunately I had to make sure whatever haircut I got I could still pull every single strained back into what I call my “Panama ponytail.”
• I got to watch the sunset and the moon rise out on the Harding´s sailboat. There is never a dull moment with that family!
• I got to walk the celebrity golf tournament with my mom. Where we found ourselves more focused in our own conversation and company, that we hardly even noticed the celebrities we were brushing shoulders with.
•I got to eat at my favorite restaurant, Sprouts, 4 times… not all on the same day =)
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• I got to catch up with old friends over a plate full of my Grandmas yummy Tacos and Guacamole.
•I re-familiarized myself with Tahoe’s nightlight; making up for all the dancing I have been missing out on, in one long night.
• I shared a fantastic afternoon on the beach, which included a very memorable photo shoot, with the best friends a girl could ask for.
And right when it all started feeling a little too comfortable, and normal…. I knew it was time for me to go.
And with a blink of an eye, I was back at the airport. This time with a very happy stomach full of my mom’s Swedish pancakes. Another, tearful goodbye (see you later) and I was off.
I was delightfully surprised when the plane rose out of Reno to fly south to LA and I got one last glimpse of Tahoe. Fortunately, I was seated on the right side of the little prop plane, in the window seat and with no one sitting next to be to see my eyes tear up. It continuously amazes me how seeing that lake and the snowcapped surrounding mountains could stir up such emotion. I put my ipod on shuffle and tried not to blink, enjoying every second of the view. But inevitably, I couldn’t physically rotate my torso any further, and just like that Tahoe was out of site.
I faced forward, leaned back my head and closed my eyes. Trying to stay focused on the future and all I have waiting for me in Panama, rather than what and who I am leaving behind in Tahoe. So many thoughts racing through my head at this point I think it would be impossible to put into words. My ipod however, seemed to sense my emotions, by randomly choosing songs by Jack Johnson, Andy Mckee, Kenny Chesney, Zac Brown Band and John Mayer that seemed to know exactly how I was feeling.
A few songs after my Lake was out of site and my emotions started to regulate the pilots voice came through the plane instructing us to look out the right side of the plane…. And round two of emotions hit. Below, the shear granite walls, and countless waterfalls were seemingly putting on a show for me. It was Yosemite Valley… my Disneyland.
With my forehead pressed to the window, I remembered that almost a year to the day ago I was watching the sunrise from the top of Half Dome. I had regretted not squeezing a trip to Yosemite in while I was home, but I was so thankful to at least get a glimpse of it from the air.
My trip back to Panama included, this short/emotional trip from Reno to LA, then a 5 hour layover in LA, then LA to Atlanta, followed by a 17 (yes, 17) hour layover in Atlanta , then Atlanta to Panama City, and straight onto a 9 hour night bus up to Bocas where I was praying I would be able to find a boat back to Buena Esperanza. So, obviously I had plenty of time to ponder.
Some conclusions:
Yes, I miss Tahoe, Yes, I miss Yosemite, and I miss San Luis Obispo too. I miss California and the United States. I miss the places and more importantly I miss the people.
We are so incredibly fortunate to have all the choices that we do. And I know that when I graduated from Poly, I could have gone a number of different ways with my life. And with all these choices, it is hard not to think about the ‘Butterfly Effect’ and how my life would be different had I not chosen to do the Peace Corps. But with all the other choices looming over me, I still feel like I can say with 100% confidence that I am exactly where I should be… here in Buena Esperanza, in the middle of the Archipelago in Panama…. living, working, serving and sharing cultures with the Ngobes. I have 15 more months to make the most of my experience here. And I know that when I am done Tahoe will still be big and blue, Half Dome will still be standing, and my family will still love me.
But until then, I pull my hair back, tie my handkerchief around my neck, and slip on my rubber boots …. Thank goodness it’s going to be awhile before I see a full length mirror.
Thank you to everyone who made my trip home so special.
Love,
Meti
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Since my return and while I was away A LOT has been going on here in Bocas and Buena Esperanza. I am going to try really really really hard to get another Blog update on by next Wednesday.
Also, I allowed my blog so that anyone can leave comments… so let me know your reading!
