Stuff

**This is post 5 of 8 regarding my month of “solitude.” You can find the previous posts below. **

As I told you guys in my first post “why.” This month was, more than anything, a chance for me to live without the ‘stuff’ I have become so accustomed to. Was it hard to go without?

Here is what I thought:

The T.V: I gave up any attachment (which was not a lot) to the television a long time ago. This was not a problem.

The Camera: This was never an option to give up. Photographs are too precious. I made sure I had a fully charged battery going into site, and safeguarded it like crazy

The Computer: I didn’t miss the computer as much as I missed the connection it brings me with the people back home. Yeah this was hard, but not impossible.

The Cell Phone: This was a bit harder to put aside. I became addicted to the cell phone during college. I know I did, and I admit it. I never needed a fancy phone, no special gadgets, or “apps” I think is what you call them now… but I always felt that need to be connected and I found secretly in knowing I was. I don’t think I have an addictive personality, but it was different with the cell phone, and I know why…. I have self diagnosed myself! =)

When my brother was in Iraq he would only call about every ten weeks, and if you missed his call you missed his call... It was devastating when that would happen. I took all measures to avoid this. My cell phone would be set on vibrate in my pocket during class, on the loudest ring possible when I was riding my bicycle, and I would even bring my it out to the pool and place it at the water’s edge while I was swimming laps. After Nick’s four years of service. I still held on to this secretly blanket.

I was relieved when I came to Panama to find that all volunteers have cell phones, and most have service in their communities. I thought this was huge…and through the year, it has proven to be so. Good news, bad news, familiar and comforting voices and words of encouragement come to me via my cell phone. I am not going to lie...this was hard to go without. But it was good for me. My mom has always said that, bad news travels fast so if there was anything life changing or detrimental they knew how I could be reached. "No news is good news” we use to say when Nick was in Iraq. It was the same here.

The IPod: Awwwww the Ipod….. Music, my music!
I have a yellow poster here hanging on the wall in my kitchen/living room/office/yoga studio/dinning room that reads “NO MUSIC, NO LIFE.” I believe this. I always have and always will. Music brings me so much happiness. My month of solitude was not intended to keep myself from things that make me happy….So music was still an option, but the IPod wasn’t.

So, I looked to my community for answers. What do they do for music? Thus, my last purchase before going out to site for a month was a Sony AM/FM radio, complete with a large antenna and powered by two AA batteries. I learned so much about Panamanian culture by listening to this little box.

You know those times when you are in a certain mood? Sad perhaps. Maybe someone just painted over your world. Anyways, when you get in a mood, if you are like me, you look for a song to match it. You turn to your trusty IPod and find someone to remind you that you’re not alone…. They must know what how you’re feeling, that’s why they are singing about it right?

So, IPodless, I would turn to my Sony. I would search the dial (yes, a good old fashion dial), up and down, up and down. First, I would listen, for anything in English. Inevitably, I would hear, “I know you want me, you know I want you…” move the dial a little more, “all the single ladies, all the single ladies, put your hands up..” a little more “get down, get down and more it all around…” a little more and I would find a station that Vanilla Ice surly had a monopoly on.

What the heck? None of these songs fit my mood. So I would settle on any slow, romantic sounding Spanish song, which I deemed fitting enough. That was until it became apparent of the very clever way that Panamanians advertise on the radio. Clever, but not so discrete. You could be listening to the most beautiful love song -duets are common- Two young Latin lovers singing to each other in this beautiful romance language. About how they will never cheat or leave and they will love the other forever or something like that (to be honest I still can on catch about every other word in songs) but you get the idea… Then , out of nowhere it is like the guys next door decided to pop in, screaming about a HUGE SALE his sports store is having on Saturday, before they throw him out… still rambling of items that will be available at half price. Once he was thrown out, the song would continue like nothing happened. It is like a hidden subliminal message that they forgot to hide.

Panama radio partially redeemed itself however when I discovered the Country Billboard Countdown on Saturday mornings at 8 am. The show was only a half hour, and I saw it “partially” redeemed itself, because the “Country Billboard Countdown” seemed to be lacking the whole countdown feature that its name suggests. Instead they seemed to just pick random country songs to play. That was still ok with me. Once the dial was set I could just melt to the voice of Josh Turner telling me "Everything is fine." I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anyone else in this country who was listening to this… Maybe other PCVs?

Why does it seem like we always need some sort of background noise? The T.V on while we are eating or cooking dinner, the stereo playing when we are trying to converse with our guests... I don’t have an explanation for this, I know I am the same way. But as my month went on, I found myself spending more time relinquishing in the silence, than fusing with the radio to stimulate my brain with sound waves.

Lacking ‘stuff’ to fill my free time, didn’t really seem to be that big of an issue actually. The truth is, I have more hobbies than I know what to do with and the time I would normally spend talking on the phone or writing emails, was easily filled in other ways.

• Yoga continued to be a daily practice sometimes twice a day. And even though Bikram or hot yoga (as some call it) is not my preferred style, I often had no choice.

• Hikes into the finca or boat trips out around the maingroves islands were daily routine. This was my alone time and was cherished very much!

• Nick and Amber built a Ping Pong table before they left. This was hours of entertainment, while it lasted. It was not exactly Buena Esperanza child proof and it only lasted a week. But the Padres de Famila saw how much the kids enjoyed it and have promised to sturdy the base, we’ll see.



• And of course, hours and days can be passed reading. When I am looking for something to distract my mind and take me to another place, I could always count on a book to take me into another world. This month alone, through my literary material, I found myself deep in the jungle of Surinam learning about shamanism, building a house on a pond in Massachusetts, making a 1st decent up the west face or Suila grade in Peru, traveling the world ensuring developing countries (like Panama) will forever be in debt to the U.S, and of course I went to the Swedish countryside to help a solve the disappearance of a family legacy. Can you guess what I was reading?

• Due to the whole radio situation, I did find myself playing guitar more often. With my vacation to Cabo approaching, I found it appropriate to teach myself “here comes the sun” and Jimmy Buffets “Mexico” both of which helped me remain optimistic.

To be honest I personally think that one should never get so attached to one ‘thing’ that they couldn’t part with it for a day, a month, a year… or two. Be it a cell phone, car, television...ice cream. I enjoyed my fast from 'stuff.'
Relationships on the other hand, and they people you have them with are a different story. And I don’t plan on going this long without contact with my family and friends ever again. I am very thankful for the modern technology, and the way it has allowed me to be here, doing what I am doing, yet still remain close to the people that mean the most to me.

Love from Panama!
Miche and Minchi