Why

This is post 1 of 8 regarding my month of “solitude.”

There was no objective to my decision, nothing in particular I was hoping to have accomplished after my month, nothing I needed to check off my list, and I wasn’t coming out until I had! It was nothing like that. It was simply just something I wanted to do, for me… I guess you could say my decision to stay in site was purely selfish. I know not everyone would understand why I would want to do “seclude” myself for a month, just as not everyone understands why one would want to join Peace Corps in the first place. But that’s ok, there are things I don’t understand in some life decisions that others make. We are all different, and I appreciate and respect that. I didn’t feel the need to convince people of my decision, though there were many seeking a justification. … ‘Why in the world would you want to stay in site for a month?’ I got asked numerous times. Those who really know me understood, and that was all that mattered. But for the others who still needed a little bit more of an explanation, below is my best reasoning on why I wanted to do this:

I was born into a world that by global standards was already well developed. Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for this, and the opportunities I have been given by what seems to be the luck of the draw. However, not once in my 23 years have I lived without electricity or those products requiring such. Since making my own email address, not one week has passed that I haven’t check it. The cell phone, the IPod, the computer, the flip of a light switch… all of these and more have always been an outlet and plug -in away. I remember the excitement we use to get as children when the power would go out. Maybe there is something innate in us that longs to experience a powerless world…. I was curious.

Also, I had been in site for a year, I was about to enter what some volunteers coined, ‘the one year slump.’ Which is a time when you start asking yourself either what the heck am I doing here? or what the heck am I going to do when I get back? Personally, I wasn’t having particular apprehension with either question. But my time here did seem to be passing too quickly. So, I don’t know….maybe I needed to take some good quality time and seriously think about these questions. Not in a negative way, just realistically.

But really, I think my decision was a factor of many things that came together and resulted in a now or never realization….I mean think about it, when in your life would you ever get to go without ‘stuff’ for a month. I saw my situation as an opportunity, an opportunity I was lucky to have and would be silly not to take advantage of. Our western way of living is creeping closer and closer to Buena Esperanza and it is likely that even next year at this time it would be impossible to do what I did. There are people that pay big bucks to escape. They go into solitude or seclude themselves from something, be it; people, noise, cars, computers, normal life. A “retreat “ is usually what it’s called right? Yoga retreats, spiritual retreats, nature retreats… Well, I had the chance to have my own retreat, for free. It would be nearly impossible for me to do this once I returned to the U.S. I would either have to pay to go on one of those above mentioned retreats or run away like the boy in ‘Into The Wild’ which I don’t think I am brave enough to do.

I have been out of what one would call the ‘comfort zone’ for some time now. The basics of survival in Buena Esperanza have become habitual. I knew I had clean water (if there was rain), I knew I had a roof over my head, I knew (more or less) what bugs to expect and how to deal upon encountering them, and I had enough canned food to last a year. So I knew the logistics and basics of daily life would not be an issue.

For lack of a better word we have been calling my month in site my month of “solitude.” However, when I look up synonyms for the word solitude I read; loneliness, privacy, isolation and seclusion. For the latter two synonyms, yes, I will admit, I was isolated and secluded from what I refer to as ‘stuff.’ However, the former two words, in my mind, refer more to people and my interactions with them. Well, I can say with great assurance that it was a rarity when I was ever alone. And privacy was something I often had to fight for.

The following 7 posts are an accumulation of events and experiences that took place during my 32 days.

The next three posts (Thursday, Friday and Saturday) will likely be the most important posts of my service, clearly illustrating the struggles and realities of working in international development. You won’t want to miss these.

For those of you who questioned why I would want to do a month of solitude, I hope this post cleared it up a bit more… if you still think I am crazy, oh well.

Until tomorrow,

Peace from Meti.